These Are The 10 Most Boring Small Towns In America

We used science and data to determine which small towns in America are real snooze fests.

There's no denying it: There are plenty of small towns in America that are full of excitement. These are the places where there's an energy in the air, and where a young, vibrant community is actively involved.

You've visited these places before, and there's a chance there are plenty of fun, exciting small towns in the state you live in.

Unfortunately, not all small towns are so lucky. In fact, most American small towns are kinda boring.

You know the places: The ones where seemingly everyone has an AARP card, and the most exciting thing they do all day is post a picture of their grandchild on Facebook.

Like Hillsborough, CA, for instance. In our latest analysis, we found that this city was the most boring city in all of America.

But don't feel bad if you're a resident of Hillsborough. There are plenty of other boring, lackluster places in America as well.

Here they are. Try not to jump out of your seat with excitement:

This might be a little bit of a head scratcher. After all, 7 of the 10 are in New York and California, widely considered as the most exciting places in America. But these are very big states, and believe us, there is lots of room for boring pockets to exist in both states.

Rest assured that we didn't use personal opinion when it comes to what classifies a city or town as "boring" or "exciting". We crunched actual numbers to figure out which small towns are statistically more boring.

How we determined the boring small towns in America

To figure out how boring a place is, we rely on a complex algorithm that factors in things we generally think make a pale exciting, and then we figure out which cities have the least number of those things.

Using AreaVibes data, we measured each city on the following criteria:

  • % of Population Over 35 (higher is more boring)
  • % of Married Households (higher is more boring)
  • Median Age (higher is more boring)
  • % of Households With Kids (higher is more boring)
  • % of Households With People Over 65 (higher is more boring)
  • Population Density (lower is more boring)

Then, our algorithm ranks each city for each of the criteria, takes an average of the individual ranking, and identifies the city that scores as most boring across the board.

For this list, we used every American city that qualified for our rankings based on having a population of between 5,000 and 50,000 residents. That left us with nearly 4,000 places to rank, and kept us from prejudicing our rankings by including very small pockets of retired people.

Grab your rocker and hold on.

1. Hillsborough, CA

Population: 10,879
Median Age: 46
Married Households: 74%
Households With Kids: 47.5%

We start off our tour of the most boring small towns in America in Hillsborough. All the way across the nation is the very boring small town of Hillsborough, which is basically a San Francisco suburb. Again, this is a very wealthy place, where the population is really boring when you look at the data.

When you consider that 3 out of 4 people in Hillsborough are married, and nearly half have kids at home, you have a really boring place. Because face it, once you're hitched and have little ones running around the house, an exciting weekend is usually spent scrubbing marker off of the walls in the playroom.

2. San Marino, CA

Population: 13,172
Median Age: 46
Married Households: 73%
Households with kids: 41%

Just outside of Pasadena is the small city of San Marino, where the city motto is a very boring, "Quis Dan Volo, Dan Accipio."

In San Marino, almost three-quarters of the population is married, and nearly half are over the age of 65. We're starting to see a pattern here: Rich equals boring. San Marino is the 48th most expensive place to live in America.

At least the population here can afford to fly into a more exciting destination whenever they feel like it.

3. Ladue, MO

Population: 8,524
Median Age: 46
Married Households: 71%
Households with kids: 40%

Finally, we get to a place in the midwest, where Americans typically think of as the most boring region in the nation. Here in Ladue, a St. Louis suburb, wealth and boring go hand in hand once again. Ladue is the wealthiest city in Missouri, where households bring in about $141,000 a year.

There's nothing to do in town proper except golf or count your money. If that's your thing, then you're set.

4. Cherry Hills Village, CO

Population: 6,043
Median Age: 46
Married Households: 76%
Households With Kids: 41%

There aren't too many other small towns in America where more people are married than in Cherry Hills Village, a Denver suburb. More than 3 in 4 people are hitched, and the median age is pushing 50. Not an exciting place to whoop it up.

It's been said golf is a very boring activity, and you've got your fair share of golf here.

5. East Hills, NY

Population: 6,948
Median Age: 42
Married Households: 77%
Households With Kids: 49%

This small village on Long Island has more married people with kids than Cherry Hills Village. However, the median age is far lower, meaning that overall, there might be slightly more energy in the air near this wealthy region of New York state.

According to internet chatter, East Hills is a quiet, clean, wealthy enclave on Long Island. Read: Boring.

6. Mount Carmel, TN

Population: 5,409
Median Age: 42
Married Households: 77%
Households With Kids: 37%

Mount Carmel has a mix of younger married couples with kids and seniors who live alone. Does that sound exciting? Probably not.

Plus, unlike several cities listed above, Mount Carmel is a very isolated place along the Tennessee-Virginia state line.

7. Pelham Manor, NY

Population: 5,485
Median Age: 40
Married Households: 68%
Households With Kids: 46%

Pelham Manor is another (very) wealthy New York City suburb where most of the population is married, half the residents have kids, and more than 40% are older than 65.

8. La Canada Flintridge, CA

Population: 20,309
Median Age: 46
Married Households: 68%
Households With Kids: 45%

This fairly wealthy Los Angeles suburb lies in the hills in what locals call the San Gabriel Valley. There's plenty of hiking nearby, which is a great activity for the elderly and married couples with kids. There are lots of both here.

9. Rolling Hills Estates, CA

Population: 8,078
Median Age: 47
Married Households: 76%
Households With Kids: 38%

The percentage of people who are either married or over the age of 65 here are both in the top 7% in the nation. This quiet, safe suburb of Los Angeles is tucked in the hills away from the traffic and madness of the L.A. Valley.

Meaning if you're looking for some good old fashioned Southern California fun, this is the last place you'd look.

10. Kings Point, NY

Population: 5,011
Median Age: 38
Married Households: 64%
Households With Kids: 42%

We finish our tour of the most boring small towns in America in Kings Point, a small, wealthy village on the north shore of Long Island, not too far from downtown NYC. What makes this place so boring? Frankly, the population.

The median age is 38 years old, which is on the high side. And, the percentage of the population that's over 65 years old is 56% which is the 53rd highest rate in the nation.

The region here is often referred to as "Great Neck." It's where F. Scott Fitzgerald modeled his book, "The Great Gatsby" after.

Now That You're Asleep

On a list like this, there are usually no winners, but since America isn't necessarily the most boring nation, the cities on this list can at least take solace that there are, in fact, more boring cities around the globe.

You might also like

Top 10 Worst Cities In America - Worst Places To Live 2016There are winners and losers in everything. When it comes to livability, the cities on this list are definitely…top 102016-10-12
Best Places to Live 2016 - Top 10 Best CitiesA list of the top 10 best places to live in America for 2016. AreaVibes takes a look at the best places to…top 102016-09-19
These Are The 10 Fastest Growing Cities In FloridaFlorida is already the third-most populous state in America, and growing fast. According to the U.S. Census…top 102016-05-16
These Are The 10 Most Boring States In AmericaThere's no denying it: There are plenty of states in America that are full of excitement. These are the places…top 102016-05-10